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We Remember Them

The year 2003 was marked by the death of three good friends. They are gone from this earth, but remain with me:

No coming, no going No after, no before I hold you close to me I release you to be free Because I am in you And you are in me. —Thich Nhat Hanh

They left lessons for all of us.

Dick Ladd (May 2, 1939 — August 29, 2003) was a pioneer and giant in the field of aging. He was the architect of Oregon’s long-term care system. Maybe more than any single individual, Dick has moved this country in the direction of home care of the elderly.

One way he did this was by winning approval of the first Home and Community Based Waiver in the United States. Home and Community Based Waivers are powerful tools States use to help people receive care in the community instead of turning to nursing homes.

While institutional services account for about 70% of all Medicaid long term care spending in the US, in Oregon it is only about 42%. In human terms this means thousands of individuals in Oregon are able to be cared for in their homes instead of being forced into a nursing home. While other states are not as successful as Dick’s model in Oregon, all are familiar with Oregon and have replicated parts of it all across this country. In that sense, tens of thousands of older Americans who never heard the name Dick Ladd, are sleeping in their own home because of him.

He certainly left his mark on Arkansas. Since the early 80’s Dick advised and assisted Arkansas policy makers. One year ago this month, he spent a week in Arkansas speaking with legislators, governor’s staff and other policy makers on how to continue to improve our state’s long term care system. He remains an inspiration for all want to improve the way we care for older Americans.

Dick was an intelligent, witty, passionate individual who was never afraid of a fight. I was fortunate to count him as a friend and mentor.

Lloyd Kennedy (12-1-1923 — 12-12-2003) was another special friend and mentor. He spent 17 years as the Director of the Northwest Arkansas Area Agency on Aging (AAA). He, like his fellow talented and entrepreneurial AAA Directors, transformed a two or three person agency into a multi-million dollar organization employing hundreds of individuals serving thousands of citizens. He was an innovator creating programs where none existed. He was instrumental in the establishment of the first hospice and adult day care center in Arkansas.

When I entered the field of aging at age 28 Lloyd had already seen active duty in the South Pacific during World War II, won the World Bombing Competition flying B-47 bombers in 1956, and served as on officer with the Titan II Missile system. At age 28 I know little about an Area Agency on Aging much less the world of aging. Lloyd offered wise counsel and a maturity that was always respected. He was the Dean of the AAA Directors in Arkansas. But, he was also fun to be around and never lacked for an entertaining story.

Lloyd was a true gentleman who made life better for others. The Arkansas Senate honored Lloyd for his many invaluable contributions to the US Military, the State of Arkansas and his local community in a memorial resolution December 18, 2003. He was a man who made a difference.

Cindy Sanderson, PhD (12-31-1954 — 11-28-2003) was my sister. She did not work in the field of aging, but left a lesson for all of us.

Cindy was Director of Training for Behavioral Tech, LLC. She led intensive postgraduate seminars throughout the United States and abroad. She was a member of the psychology faculty at Cornell University’s College of Medicine, Department of Psychiatry. She published journal articles and book chapters including one on the integration of psychotherapy with spiritual practice.

Cindy died after a 12-year battle with breast cancer. While the survival rate of breast cancer has improved, more work needs to be done. Also early detection is important. Cindy lived12 full and productive years after first being diagnosed. The lifetime probability of getting breast cancer is 1 out of 68 from age 40 to age 50. From age 60 to 70 the probability is 1 out of 27. She is testament that early detection and treatment is critical.

Because Cindy had cancer for 12 years with three reoccurrences she did not take life for granted. She did not become bitter with the spread of the disease, but more caring and present with those around her. I know she was scared at times, but she faced her fear and opened wider instead of closing down. She was an example of how to live life. She was an example of how to face death.

Everyone who has lost a loved one or close friend can take some comfort by remembering them and knowing that they live in us:

In the rising of the sun and its going down, We remember them. In the blowing wind and the chill of winter, We remember them. In the opening of buds and in the rebirth of Spring, We remember them. In the blue sky and warmth of Summer, We remember them. In the rustling of leaves and the beauty of Autumn, We remember them. In the beginning of the year and when it ends, We remember them. When we are weary and in need of strength, We remember them. When we are lost and sick at heart, We remember them. When we have joys we yearn to share, We remember them. So long as we live, they too shall live, for they are part of us, as we remember them.

We pray that nothing of our loved ones' lives will be lost, but that they
will be of benefit to the world; that all they held sacred may be respected by those who follow them; that everything in which they were great may continue to mean much to us. We ask that they go on living in us who have loved them so deeply, in our hearts and minds, in our courage and conscience.